Archive for August, 2008
Because we’ve been to Cairo, a few times now, we’ve gotten to enjoy a very popular Egyptian dish called Koshary. In fact it’s so well liked in Cairo, that they have Koshary shops; an entire restaurant which only sells Koshary. So my youngest daughter, Sarah and I decided to make some–we thought it would be quite easy. It seems such a simple dish.
We have our nephew staying with us from the UK, and we invited a friend, and also some family members to come and taste it. Ten of us altogether–not a big deal–we often have lots of people to dinner! Plus we were celebrating my son-in-laws promotion to Director at Boeing.
We got the recepie off the internet, and went shopping for the ingredients: Vermicelli noodles, lentils, tomato sauce, onions, chickpeas, pasta, rice, paprika sauce and garlic lemon sauce.
Three hours later, we were just finished cooking! It was unbelievable. There were eight different parts to the meal and so we had pots of boiling water, pans of things frying, chopping boards full of vegetables. And then, finally it was ready to serve….which was a big problem.
How the heck were we going to serve it? It had to be placed in each persons bowl in layers and there wasn’t enough rooom on the table for all the different dishes and sauces, so we ended up in the kitchen spooning it into the bowls and then taking it out onto the porch, where everyone was seated round the table.
Fortunately, everyone loved it! And as I was eating, but as I was eating, I couldn’t help thinking about all the dishes that had to be washed; we had been washing and drying many of them along the way, but at the end, there were still stacks of dishes. And unbeknownst to me, my daughter got up and washed all the dishes. What a great service?
After the meal was over, we came inside and my friend turned and said to me, “You can’t buy this kind of love.” She said, “What you have here is amazing.” And it was; family, friends, relatives from across the ‘pond’ all the way from England visiting…and it’s true. We can have all the money in the world, all the ‘toys’ to play with, all the kudos from our work, but when it comes down to it–cooking for family–making a special occasion of a Monday night was fabulous.
So, just for one evening this week, why not cook something special for someone you love. Get a recipe you’ve never tried before and go through the process of cooking it. I have to admit that at one point, I was getting very nervous, and serious; worried it wouldn’t be ready on time, and my daughter turned to me and said, “quick the presidents coming!” And we burst out laughing. We were cooking for family and friends, there was nothing to worry about. So have a laugh, cook up something for someone special and enjoy your life to it’s utmost. Rock N Roll Val & Jeff
August 12th, 2008
It’s amazing how I am thinking one thing and someone else is thinking something entirely different. Like my two daughters. One has been in Chicago and we’ve been around each other a lot, shopping, doing yoga and bonding. And my youngest daughter has been in LA for six years and has just come back and feels really left out. Yes, she’s visited over the six years, but just for days at a time and she hasn’t been part of my bonding with my eldest daughter. It’s called sibling rivalry, but it’s not just a name….it’s real.
So this morning we had a good chat about it, “mom” she said, “I just don’t feel important anymore.” And then she explained that she felt we used to have a good connection, but that since coming home, she feels it’s not the same. And of course, I know what it feels like to be left out, we all do don’t we?
And if we keep our feelings to ourselves and don’t let the other person know what’s happening then we lose communication with each other. We feel alone and unloved and just basically negative.
Of course, being a writer, I really prefer to communicate via the written word, so it’s harder for me to do it face to face, especially when I’m getting feedback from my daughter about what I’m not doing. But to go through it is really worth while. To take the time to sit down with someone and let them know how you feel, or to listen to someone else tell you how they feel is so important, it may be the most important thing you can do on the planet.
Imagine if people were able to really communicate? There would be less wars, less upset, less of the negative energy floating round the planet. So here’s a few tips on how to communicate.
1. Don’t take anything personally. It feels personal but it really isn’t. I’ve found the best way to not take things personally is to breathe. Focus on the breath. Focus on the fact that you are doing a great job listening to feedback. Remember it is not about you, it’s about how the other person feels about you. It’s their feelings, not yours. So don’t get plugged into their feelings. Be objective, and stay focused on your breath.
2. Listen. Just allow the other person to vent. Let them get out all their feelings. Allow them the time to say what they need to say. Because if you don’t it will not go away. It will stay in their head and affect your relationship. So it’s much better for them to tip the stuff out of their mind and allow it to dissolve into the air.
3. If you are the one talking, say it in a way that does not make the other person defensive. “This is how I feel…” It’s not about, you did this, or you did that. This is about how you feel. In a way it has nothing to do with the other person. They just happen to be in a relationship with you. It’s your choice how you want to be with that person. It’s your choice to be unhappy, sad or depressed. It’s all up to you.
4. Thank the person for taking the time to communicate with you. “Thank you for listening?” “I appreciate you taking the time to be with me.”
So just for today, communicate your feelings. Listen and be willing to receive feedback or to give feedback. Be gentle, kind and wise. Giving feedback is not about telling someone how bad they are, it’s about telling someone how you feel. Or listening to how someone else feels. Have an amazing day. Rock N Roll Val & Jeff
August 8th, 2008
I used to have a dog, a few dogs actually, and there’s nothing so great as taking one for a walk. There was one dog, a bulldog called Winnie who lived with us when we were in Oxford, England. We would walk her along the farmers fields where she would bound ahead of us on the dirt track. And if it had been raining, she would splash in the mud having the most fun time.
What is it about dogs, and pets that makes us feel so great? I think it’s their abandomnent and joy of living. They don’t take things personally, or sulk. And if you walk out of the room for a few minutes and walk back in, they wag their tails as if you are their long lost pal.
So, whatever is happening in your day, think about a fun time in your life. Imagine you are there right now; enjoying life, enjoying people, enjoying the event.
Don’t allow yourself to get bogged down with petty things. Life is way too short to sulk, or spend time moaning. Be in the now. Be in the moment. Do something that makes you happy. Smile, laugh and fill yourself with joy….and if you can….go walk the dog! Rock N Roll Val & Jeff
August 7th, 2008
Before you read on, this is Val speaking, not Jeff, so the following comments are from me alone:
My daughter is here after having been in Cairo for about 6 months. She’s really started talking about bringing God into her heart, and why don’t I open mine up. She asked Jeff if he was open to God, and he said yes, and then she asked me, and I said, “I’m not sure.”
You see, my problem is one of faith. I’ve had faith in God before, but now, with everything that is happening in the world, I sometimes feel it’s diffiuclt. Why do people suffer? Why do babies die and why do good people have bad things happen?
My daughter says, that these things happen to make us stronger, and that it’s all written out by God beforehand. So to have faith is to know that God loves us and know that everything will turn out well in the end.
I don’t know. It feels sometimes like it would be an amazing thing to just open my heart to God and know that I am loved and everything will be okay. Then sometimes, that feels like giving in. Which is kind of crazy right? To know everything will be okay and ‘give it up’ to God and then decide not to do it. Like I’m going to be strong and do it alone without any help from a higher power.
I know this is a business blog and maybe I shouldn’t be writing about God, but I believe blogs are supposed to be about the way things are, so to not tell how it is right now, would be a lie.
I’m going to try it. Give it up to God. Give up the struggle of doing it alone. Give up the feeling of being alone. Give up the sense that I must be strong and alone. You get the picture I am sure. So here goes. I open my heart to God. I’ll let you know what happens. All the best Val
August 6th, 2008
“Fear is, I believe, a most effective tool in destroying the soul of an individual and the soul of a people.”
“Most seek after what they do not posess and are enslaved by the very things they want to acquire.”
“There can be hope only for a society which acts as one big family, not as many separate ones.”
“There’s no happiness for people at the expense of other people.”
“He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality and will never, therefore, make any progress.”
Sadat was a great Egyptian leader who through his strength and wisdom brought Egypt to peace with Israel for many years. When we come from fear our lives are lived in a fog of worry, anger, and depression. It’s our duty to see things clearly, from a place of happiness and love.
Today, just today, start to look at your life from a different angle so that no matter what’s going on you can see people, things and events through the eyes of love. Rock n Roll
Jeff and Val
August 5th, 2008
I just came back from Dallas teaching Super Service to 200 people, managers and employees at Xerox. I think it’s really great to see people coming into a room who don’t want to be there. Because who wants to have another training program on customer service? We all know what it is. So lots of faces looking bored, dissatisfied and grumpy.
And then to see at the end of the session, bright smiling faces, laughing, standing and cheering, feeling great again. To have that feeling of being inspired and inspiring. To realize their full potential. That’s the reason why I do it, because it just staggeringly amazing. How great people are. Ordinary people doing extra-ordinary things. And to realize that everyone on us can do it.
Every one. No matter where we’re from, what our background, religion, education. That we can step outside of our petty worries and achieve self worth. The reason I do it is because it’s so uplifting to be around so much great energy that the group gives.
We always have a choice in this world. We can choose to be bored and boring, or we can choose to have an amazing life and be the one facilitating it. I think so many people fall off the path, because they are waiting for someone else to come along and make it happen. One of the things that I develop in facilitating Super Service is to make everyone realize, they have the power, they have the choice, the results are because of the choices they make.
So rock N roll today. Have an amazing day. Be of service to someone just for the sheer pleasure of being in the power seat. You are the one deciding to make a cup of coffee for someone else, you are the one deciding to be the first to smile, you are the one making the choice to be happy instead of being the one who has to be cheered up. All the best, Jeff & Val
August 2nd, 2008
I was in Jewel shopping for groceries. All the checkout lines were full and I went in the shortest one. it happened to be a checkout guy I had seen the previous day. He’d been really dilligent with his customer. She’s bought something that was supposed to be on sale, only it didn’t come up on his register as being on sale so he had to charge her the full price.
I was waiting in line and talking to myself, ‘I wish she would just accept that it’s not on sale, pay for her groceries and let us move on.’ And she did, and was about to wheel her cart away, when his phone rang. He listened to the person on the other end of the line, put down the phone and said to the customer, “You’re right! I apologize, it didn’t show up as being on sale. All you need to do is take your reciept to the customer service,” He pointed to the desk which was to her right, “and they’ll reimburse you.” She was so happy she went away smiling.
Okay, I thought. He’s really good at providing Super Service, and I need to be more patient and let him do his job!
So today, here I am again, in his line. He smiles, asks me how I’m doing, we have a bit of a laugh, he puts my groceries through, another person bags them and then I swipe my card. It comes up NOT APPROVED. Holy, moly I think. I have $40.00 in my purse, and I’ve just bought over $60.00 in groceries. I’m going to have to take some of the groceries out of the cart. I don’t have enough money.
“Swipe it again,” He says smiling. “This happens sometimes.” I swiped it again. And again it came up NOT APPROVED. This happened about eight times. I kept swiping, it kept coming up not approved and he kept saying, “swipe it again.”
I could see the man in line behind me was getting impatient. If I’d been in his shoes, I’d have felt the same. I could see him looking at the other checkout lines to see if he should move to a shorter one, but all of them were full up with people and their loaded carts of groceries.
Now, I was sweating and getting impatient myself. ‘Why did this guy on the checkout keep asking me to swipe the card again! It’s obviously not working.’ Finally, I swiped it again, only this time it was APPROVED! I looked at him, he looked at me and we both laughed and said, “AMAZING!”
If he hadn’t taken the time to help me get my card approved, I would have held the line up even longer; It would have taken me ages to go through each bag in my cart and pull out groceries to reduce the amount by $20.00. In fact, I was even thinking about leaving the cart and running out of the store which would not have been good.
I would have gone home wiithout the ingredients I needed to make dinner, and I would have felt really ‘cheesed off.’
Super Service is about connecting with people. The man on the checkout counter was great. He took time to connect with me and help me get my card approved. Sometimes, giving service is much more than just smiling and saying, “have a nice day.” It’s about one human being helping another human being have a good shopping experience. Rock N Roll, Jeff & Val
August 1st, 2008
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